Publicity in life is free

February 15 2011

A couple of weeks ago, a then friend of mine asked me how he can promote his blog. I gave him some ideas. For the benefit of humanity, I am sharing the tips here.

Here are PRABHUPEPSI’s top 10 inexpensive ways to promote your blog.

10 Write the blog URL on your back and streak across any big game

9 Change work email signature to your Blog URL. Remember that everybody is allowed one accidental email to “Company All”.

8 Prepare posters of your blog URL. Roam around in the mall and find people in wheel chairs. Quietly stick the posters to the back of the wheel chairs. People in the wheel chairs are quite nice and won’t say a word as long as they don’t know you stuck those posters. Free advertisement all day.

7 Go to the airport passenger service and report that your kid is missing. Insist that your kid’s name is your blog URL. For the next few hours, passengers at the airport will hear, “Prabhupepsi.com, please come to passenger service.”

6 Sign up for story reading for kids at your local library. Remember, it’s OK to insert product placements into the story you are reading. For example, “Seven dwarfs came home after a hard day’s labor and logged on to Prabhupepsi.com while Snow white cooked the dinner.”

5 Cut outlines of your blog URL in aluminum wrap. Go to the beach on a warm day. Carefully drop the the outlines on oblivious sunbathers’ backs (or on their faces if they are sound asleep). They will advertise your blog for free until their tan wears off.

4 Find a celebrity lookalike, make a fake celebrity sex tape and distribute it. In the sex tape, wisely weave your URL into the dialog. For example: “Oh God. Yes. Yes. Last time I had so much pleasure was when I was reading Prabhupepsi.com. Don’t stop now.”

3 Camp out at an obstetrics ward. Talk to women going into labor rooms and tell them that the new Lamaze technique is to shout out your URL when they are having contractions. For the next few hours they will promote your blog at the top of their lungs.

2 Follow fire engines. If there is a fire, hang banners of your site near the fires. News crews will take care of the rest.

1 Print tons of copies of your blog. Go to all public restrooms in your area and leave copies in the restroom stalls. People using them have NOTHING else to do and will read your blog. Be prepared to accept some criticism, expressed in innovative ways.