King of the rooms

June 06 2011

Bathroom is one place where many people invent and discover new things in life. Bathroom is just not a place where one takes a bath. Many enter into a self-actualized state inside this room. The Lion is the King of the jungle and likewise the bathroom is the King of all rooms. You might ask ," Which is the Queen of all rooms?". I have an answer for that too. Let us call the Toilet as the queen of all rooms. Now the feminists will go on a rampage and call me a MCP for addressing the Toilet with a feminine term.

Till the late 1980s most Indian houses had a separate bathroom and Toilet in their homes. The bathrooms were normally built somewhere in the back of the house. In the olden days the toilets were built outside the house. I remember that in my grandpa's house the toilet was in the backyard. I used to be scared to go there in nights. The long passage in the garden would scare me. So I would tell my grandparents that I am gonna wash my face in the bathroom and the urinating activity will be done in the bathroom itself. I was a young boy then. No body knew this secret all these years. Now you know.

As days went by, the toilets were attached to the bathroom and they looked similar to the one you see in this picture. The western commodes came into the scene in the late 80s and soon Indians started getting accustomed to the new age technology. A small mug is an integral part of every bathroom.

The Indian bathrooms are the birthplace of the greatest singers in the world. Many sing their heart out as soon as they enter the bathroom. I am a bathroom singer too. I open the shower and stand under it and sing aloud. Some times I open the mouth and face the shower and sing too. This would give different fibrillated effects to the singing pattern.

Bathroom is the favorite place for almost every teenager. Young girls use their mobile phones inside the bathroom at midnight when they talk with their boyfriends especially when their parents are strict with them. Many parents are dumb on this matter. The tap is turned on and the bucket gets filled up with water. Sometimes the bucket gets filled up for more than one hour. Some parents are so dumb that they don't even realize that one hour is too much of a time to fill one bucket with water.

In some bathrooms one can find cobwebs on the walls. One favorite activity of mine is to pour water on the cobwebs and have sadistic pleasure in seeing the spiders run. I have did many spiders like this in my life time. If you are also a spider enemy, give me a five.

In school life, class 12 is the most difficult phase in every student's life. He or she has only one activity in life and that is studies. Parents would wake their children as early as 4 am in the morning and they would ask their children to study. Even in the nights, the children would be made to study till 12 pm. 4 hours of sleep seemed so less then. But now we sleep for only 4 hours and we don't regret it. A teenager would not mind talking on the phone for 4 hours at a stretch. But studying for more than 1 hour is like being in hell. When I was in class 12, my family members would wake me up at 4 am too. It is the highest degree of torture one could do to someone. I would be in the middle of a very romantic dream with Anitha and when my Perimaa(mom's sisy) wakes me up, I would get irritated.

As soon as I wake up, coffee would be served to me and I would have to go and sit in the pooja room and study. I hated this procedure and I started thinking of ways to avoid this procedure. "Bathroom" came to my rescue. So as soon as my Perimaa & my family members woke me up, I would directly head to the bathroom and would sit on the tub and start sleeping again. My parents would call me from outside, "Why are you taking so much time?". I would reply that I am suffering from constipation. Everyone thought that I was suffering from a serious constipation issue. But very soon they figured out that I was actually sleeping inside the bathroom. (I have no idea, how they found it. There were no hidden CCTV cameras involved anyways). Now as I type this post, I can hear my neighbor shouting at her teenage daughter -"Why are you spending too much time inside the bathroom?". That is a million dollar question which can be answered only by that girl. I know all the things that I used to do in the bathroom and I have a wry smile when I think about it. Bathroom is indeed the King of all rooms.

If you ask me the reason behind Julia Roberts's picture for this post, my only answer is "Should I give an explanation for that? Let Obama release Osama's dead pictures. I will tell the reason then".