July 30 2012
I'm now on 200mg of failure. I can't wait until the poison is out of my body completely. I don't think I'm getting high. I am however agitated and angry.
I keep having fantasies about being back in my business and FIGHTING.
I wish I'd fought harder to keep my self, to keep my soul to prove me.
I am angry with myself for willingly taking a procrastination that made me dull and flat, stupid and lazy.
I am angry with myself for being depressed and failure and not recognising that that was one of civilization's ways of trying to make me numb.
I WILL NOT LET THEM MAKE ME NUMB.
In the end it's all about meaning. You could say I was hallucinating or you could say I'm seeing a reality most people are blind to.
I'm only just realising how much power I have. The power to influence the universe. I *am* connected to the earth & you.....rite?!
July 28 2012
Many among you would have stayed in a bachelor room where you would have shared the house with 4 or 5 friends. Girls also would have stayed in hostels, PGs and you would have had room mates. If you have been there, you might have experienced the following points
1) Any bachelor room will have one lazy bachelor who always wakes up late and wears that same stinky jeans and goes to college/office.
2) There will be one person who will never wash the utensils. There will be one poor fellow who will wash all the utensils.
3) There will be one person who wears the same underwear for a week. This guy can be easily identified because he has a mannerism that is very similar to that of Sachin Tendulkar.
4) There will be one person who will always be on the phone. All the other room mates will be very jealous of him. This person is the dude of the house.
5) There will be a steal-er who steals money from his friends.
6) There will be a pan addict who eats manickchand or smokes up all the time.
7) There will be a hotel near the house in which all the roomies will have an account that transacts better than any bank.
8) There will be a TV in the house which will be ON during the cricket matches and football matches. Otherwise the TV is used a music system.
9) There will be one towel that will be shared by more than one person.
10) There will be one person who tries not to pay his share of the monthly rent.
11) There is a liar who becomes the laughing stock of the room mates because he gets caught in his act all the time.
12) There will be a person who will take leave from work when all the other room mates go to work. This person will be caught by his room mates in un-compromising positions when his room mates come back early from work.
13) There will be a person who will be in love with the girl from the opposite house.
14) There will be a person who will always be on facebook
15) There will be a person whose mouth stinks.
16) There will be a person who leaves all his clothes on the floor.
17) All the underwear will be left to dry on the window grill
18) The shoe rack will stink from the smell of the socks
19) There will be a holy Joe who will fold his clothes, arrange his books and wash his clothes regularly. This is another comedy piece according to the rest of the room mates.
20) There will be one room mate who will be deaf.
July 21 2012
“One man on two boats, will fall into the water sooner or later.” - AA Lee
Have you ever been ditched? How do you feel when you try to reach your girlfriend or your boyfriend over the phone in the middle of the night and all that you hear is a busy tone? Many of you might have been there, done that and would have learnt a lesson or two from bad experiences. I am not gonna give a gyan on how to handle such issues. This ain't an agony aunt section.
Women, when they two time are extremely cautious and they can manage to two time for a longer period of time. But men are the fools in the two- timing business. When a man two times, he will get caught pretty soon. You might say that you have heard this line in the Tamil movie "Kadhalil Sodhapuvadhu Eppadi".
When I was in kindergarten, I fell in love with Anitha. Regular readers of my blog would be knowing this. Though I loved Anitha with all my heart, soul, mind and my little nose; I faced a big problem. Yes the problem was my childhood villain, Karthik. He was in love with Anitha too. She smiled at all his jokes. So I knew that she liked him. So during those times, I would shudder into little, tiny tears and I would long to wipe my tears on someone.
There was a girl from Kerala in the same class. Her name was Shiny. Shiny was not as beautiful as Anitha neither was she smart like Anitha. But she was a mallu and that was the secret. Normally guys from Tamilnadu have a thing for girls from (g)ods' own country. I was no exception. Shiny would often lend her shoulder for me to cry. Though Anitha did not laugh at my jokes, she would frown when I cry on Shiny's shoulders. That reaction of Anitha was a clear indicator that she liked me. So to get that reaction from Anitha, I would often cry a lot on Shiny's shoulders. Slowly I found that I was falling in love with Shiny also.
Two timing is a difficult task for grown up adults. So the amount of pressure that I had to face as a three year old boy was too much. What would a three year old like me do ? During those days we did not use a notebook and a pencil. All we used was a slate and a piece of chalk. I found it difficult to even spell the letters in the english alphabet. But Karthik was too good in it. Often I would feel like punching Karthik on his nose. But he was stronger than me having six packs and thats why I would curb my intentions.
July 15 2012
How many of us have done this? I have done this many a times. I draft a big mail and then send that mail to a senior official at work without attaching the necessary attachments. By the time I realize that there is no attachment, the mail would have already reached the boss. If someone could capture that precise expression it would look like this.
Now you can get back to your work.
July 9 2012
If your vital statistical measurements of chest-stomach-hips range between 30-22-32 inches and 33-25-35 inches, then you are a size zero figure. Some of the world renowned size zero figures are Kareena Kapoor, Sruthihassan, Illena, Sarah Bosely, Genelia, Katie Green,Victoria Beckam, and ofcourse my sis sabu & Juju and almost all girls in Somalia."Size zero" often refers to extremely thin individuals. Many women dream to have a size zero figure.The following points are some of the tips that can be adopted by women to get a size zero figure. So If you are looking for tips to get a size zero figure, you are at the right place
1. Watch Gopinath on Vijay TV. You will automatically start throwing up and when you watch his talk shows regularly, you will eventually become a size zero figure in no time. Many women in India are becoming size zero following this technique.
2. Take 234 phone calls everyday from your mobile phone. If you have a boy friend who will sacrificially top up your mobile phone you are lucky. Research has shown that adopting this method will make you achieve the size zero figure in quick time.
3. Take the size zero girls for parties and feed them with junk food. They will put on weight. So relatively , you will look thin compared to them.
4. Make nice chicken biriyani and mix five tablespoon of laxative with it and eat it. Do this for one week. You will have awesome figure in no time.
5. Google for "Power Star Srinivasan Pictures". See the search results for 7 seconds. You will feel giddy. If you watch the pictures for more than 10 seconds you will pass out. When you wake up, you will find yourself in the hospital and the doctor will come to you and say ,"Congratulations, you are going to become a mother". You will be shocked to hear this. The doctor will then say, "I was just kidding. You just had a bout of dysentery and you have become a size zero figure"
6. If none of these techniques work out, please read some more blogs written by Prabhu Pepsi; you will soon become size zero.
July 6 2012
School days! Most memorable days of our life unless and until you have been a last-bencher all your school life. I have been a last-bencher all the days of my school life. Looking front from the last bench, the last bench students like us would look scary. We are the rowdies of the class. We are the ones who will speak all bad words in class, eat our lunch during class hours, read sleazy magazines during class hours.
The first bench will be full of the learned scholars, future IT, IIT, IIMs and good boys and girls of course failures like me too. I was made to sit in the first bench not because I was a good boy nor because I was a future IT product. I was there for the simple reason for being a failure student and I was in control of my teacher. I would often think why I am not brilliant like others. But then my childhood hero Rajini would flash across my eyes and I would feel happy.
Sometimes I would feel like sneaking to the last bench to see what the notorious boys like me doing in the class. But I would control by inhibitions because of three reasons
1) My dad told to my class teacher to sit in the front row and to be watched carefully.
2) Anitha did not like the last bench boys.
3) The last bench boys were scary and rowdies.
Anitha used to sit in the second row. One day Anitha did not come to school. So I decided to go to the last bench when the teacher was not around in the class room. I gathered all my courage and walked slowly towards the last bench to be with my friends. It was like walking towards a lion's den. The last bench boys stared at me with a scornful look because I was sitting in the first bench and acting like a smart student. I smiled at them. It didn't work. When I reached the last bench, One of my friend told me " Nee nallavanave Iru, Nanga ellam kettavangalave Irunthutu poram" which in English translates to " You always act like a smart boy, We always be bad fellows". That was the last time I went closer to the last bench in school.
Through out my school days, Though I was always seated in the first bench, my heart was always in the last bench. All my last bench dreams came true, when I entered college. Because I was a full time-yapper, I became an automatic candidate for the last bench when I entered college. The criteria for a last bench candidate in college are listed below
1.Ability to whistle with fingers folded inside the mouth
2.Ability to create rhythmic music by hitting at the wooden benches.
3.Ability to throw chalk pieces at the first row benches.
4.Ability to rag first time lecturers.
5.Ability to rag juniors in college.
6.Ability to walk out of the class midway through the lecture.
As I fit into all these useless criteria I became an eligible candidate for the last bench. I will write about my college day stories in another post. But let me come back to the school days. School excursions are again a memorable thing for everyone
This is how a school excursion seating would look like. All the innocent, calm and good students will be seated in the first few rows. The love birds will occupy the middle seats and the notorious ones will sit in the last two rows of seats. I have no clue how they bring in alcohol and cigarettes. The students will be accompanied by two school teachers (one will be a physical education teacher and the other will be an English ma'm). The bad students will enjoy the excursion very much. They will tease all the love birds. The good ones will have to just sit and look at the scenery. As the journey goes on, they doze off.
Being a first bencher is one of the greatest banes of being in a school especially if you are a mischievous and hyper active kid like me.
July 1 2012
We come across many look-a-likes in our day to day lives. When I look at a tree, it resembles someone I know. I always picture someone when I look at objects around me. Recently I was looking at dogs and some of the dogs resembled some actresses we have seen in the big screen.
This is entirely a humor post birthed out of the imaginative mind of the author and this post in no way insults a dog or a human being. If the funny bone in you is still alive, it might wake up when you see the following pictures.
Just look at the following pictures of dogs. When I looked at them, these are the actresses who came across my mind. At the end of this blog-post, I have a picture for all my readers. It is an exercise for you to find out whether you also think like the author.
Now tell me who this is? If you and I think alike, I have a special gift for you - (An attractive T-Shirt with a funny caption)
Clue : Bollywood / Tamil Actress