I think I won’t fall

December 16 2011

 A few interesting things happened to me today!

1. I found out a friend has a true friendship on me(Mr.Jothi).

2. I went to metupalayam.(and met up with lovely incident, one of my flowers that God had was fallen for me, cause who graciously brought me around this temple {MR.Thiyagu}).

3. Soon I’m going to have a foreign trip.

When I put it like that, they definitely don’t seem like much but I’ve been quite distracted last month, so much so that I’ve neglected my one new true friend(Mr.Krishna Kumar). well, these things and watching reruns of friends have pretty much occupied most of my life right now, besides work.

oh, and its 12am know?!. 

I’m looking forward to the trip with Thiyagu but it also feels like this will be happen with many travel buddies. We seem to be growing apart as friends. I’m saddened by many things, but I know by now that sometimes friendships don’t last and I just have to let go and move on.

But Thiyagu was wonderful person. He was the first friend to talk on my own, though technically it wasn't a  freshers talk because some restricted friends was with me most of the time. But staying with Thiyagu was it likes having perks, Like being in the bedroom to myself and not feeling guilty if I sneeze too loudly and I like that I can wake up when I want, come back when I want, go where I want – basically be as self-indulgent as I can be. and of course, the templing was amazing. I’m definitely coming back every friday with you. As for my friend… I could like him but I can’t hold for various complicated reasons. however, it hasn’t stopped me from exchanging flirtatious text messages. I feel like I’m playing with my bro am I rite Thiyagu?!. but as long as I don’t go beyond that, I think I won’t fall.

I have to say, it really feels nice to know Thiyagu thinks of me that way and is thinking of me. If only I’m not a cheat and will actually take a stand to be faithful – either be involved friendly or just stay strictly friends.
but it’s just a affection. He’ll get over it.

Letter to the future to Me

December 14 2011

Dated 14th December 2040

Hey!
I mean hello.. Prabhu Sir.. How are you? I hope your health is okay.. If you have BP due to all the needless tension you took in your youth, I’m terribly sorry. I am also sorry for not eating enough curry to maintain your health. 

I hope you are very busy completing your next book or repairing your grand-daughter’s computer. If you are still deciding on a climax for your first book then you are such a loser!! (I know I have to respect your age and all but this is unforgivable). I know you’re retired from your company you had. Don’t sit and count your farewell gifts.. You’re 60 for heaven’s sake! 

Here is a list of things you should have seen by now at any cost!!. If you are able to tick all then good for you.
Statue of Liberty

Sydney Opera House

       Italy- Vatican city and Rome and all those places described in Angels and demons.

France- Effil tower with all those magical lightings.

Greece- all those greek temples from art history class.

Egypt- the pyramids..

Spain – for the Tomatina festival J and I……

One Indian village where there is no mobile network, TV, internet connection and beauty parlour. 


I am pretty sure those will be available for a long time from now… so if you can say “hey! I’ve been there” for all these places then I say “you have REALLY lived your life!!!” (I’m sure you would have gone to all these places with only one person)

I am sorry for all those days you spent as a college student, hanging out in college alone and stupidly crying because you’re always short of friends. Now that I’m reminding you, you’ll just say “don’t remind me of it! You were so dumb when it comes to choosing the right company!” yeah you’re right. But now you are fine with people, they all like you because you are nice to them all. I started that in you. So you’re welcome. ;)
I hope now you have realized that as long as you have your family, you’re just fine. As long as you get up every morning being wished by a 54 year old somebody, who still prepares you coffee and chicken……. As long as you both are planning on how you both are going to meet in the next birth.. Everything is going great!! Keep up the good work on your life!

PS: you need not be formal and thank me for all those memories I preserved in a dozen diaries. But it took a lot of patience and time.

PPS: if time travel is possible then mail me one feature/article and a documentary script on 14th December 2011, at 05:40 am. (my assignment… please help….) :(

with lots of expectations..
Prabhupepsi

With Love…For My Dove..

December 13 2011

Smooth and silky, thick and bouncy,
And never frizzy here and there,
Feels beautiful from the roots today,
My long, shiny, black hair……………
All thanks to Dove oil care!

I know it is like a little kid’s poem but.. it just came into my head and I mean every word! A few more days of using Dove oil care products and my face will look so handsome I can apply for the next model in the Dove ads! Woohoo!

My mom was super excited when the package arrived home. She was waiting for me to open it. I asked her why she did not open it herself.. And she said “there was nothing written like confidential….!”
So I’ll just end this short childy post (like me!) by saying- thank you for the gift hamper IndiBlogger!

62 TURNS RAJINI!


December 12 2011

On the occasion of Rajinikanth’s birthday I was watching a talk show on TV. The host asked several people as to when and how did they get attached to him or started liking him. It was a simple question but then I thought about it for a while and could not come up with an answer. I do not remember when I started liking him. It was one of those involuntary things children pick up; like a language or the tune of a song without having any clue of the lyrics. Usually we did not go to theaters to watch movies those days. But we always made an exception for every Rajini movie. Simply put: I just grew up adoring him!

Almost everyone will have his/her own reason for liking him. He has managed to entertain us in every possible way: by his on-screen persona, his off-screen charisma and even through countless Internet jokes. But that one thing that makes him rule the hearts of millions is the fact that he sheds the grease paint the moment he steps out of a studio. He never acts his life out; he lives it. Like any and every one of us. That is what makes him so irresistible. A great man living a simple life; trust me it is not easy. And I am happy that he just is!

It was his birthday today and as usual people were busy wishing him, fans celebrated his birthday in a grand fashion, internet was abuzz with a full collection of his jokes and celebrities tweeted away to glory. Here are some of the interesting ones.

TomCruise: Happy bday Rajni Sir. I have just completed Mission Impossible 4. I heard you have completed all 99,999 levels. I know you will call me “jujuubii”!

AnnaHazare: Today I am privileged to get the CNN Rajini of the Year Award. I dedicate this award to you on your b’day! And I request you to join our fight. Together we can send corruption to the hospital!

RahulGandhi: @AnnaHazare: Did you see the power of Rajini? He has made you offer him a bribe!

SRK: They tell me I can sell any brand. They also tell me that I sell every other brand. But I always wonder how brand Rajini is worth more than everything else. And you don’t even sell it. Happy b’day Sir!

KSRavikumar: Happy bday Rajini Sir. Hope we can start Rana soon. @JuniorB: I would like to discuss about signing BetiB for a movie with Rajini Sir.

DeepikaPadukone: @KSRavikumar.. I would love to do the role of Rajini’s mother in that film!

RamGopalVarma: Retweet of a retweet: Ra-One: A 2 1/2 hour cameo by SRK in a 2 minute Rajini movie!

SRK: @RamGopalVarma: At least in Twitter, try to be original!

Birthday: Rajni Sir, I am sorry on behalf of all these ignorant people. Happy Rajni to me!

Dhanush: Rajini sir thanks you one and all for your warm wishes.

An ardent fan who doesn’t live out of Twitter sends a birthday note to Rajini’s house.

“Happy bday thalaivaa. Thank you for being a superstar on screen and being yourself off it!”

The fan gets a hand written letter from Rajini: “Thank you for your lovely card. I am touched. May God bless you and your family!”

Well, jokes and tweets apart, he is a phenomenon. And that is not because he does impossible things on screen. It is because he does an impossible thing off it. He keeps himself grounded and real. He is a great man simply because he doesn’t think he is great. And he has touched and inspired so many people in ways even he doesn’t know. I am sure everyone wants to see more and more of him: be it on screen where he bashes 10 goons with ease or a rare off-screen glimpse of him in a cotton kurta-pajama and chappals. Well, as for me, a silent wish goes out from my heart to him which hopes to see many more such birthday Rajini sir!

Fumbling with my new camera

December 10 2011

This is about the hidden photographer.
A waste that doesn't look like one.

Macro Shot.

Maybe.

I ll always love you, no matter how tough the times.

Enn.


No its not THAT finger.

Looking like a Prince.

Let the light make you free. Let it be your savior.

God is the master of my soul...

December 9 2011

First of all thank you to all my friends who kept dropping here to say hello and who kept in touch with me through emails. I have too much work at office and home and I feel tensed all the time thinking of unfinished work...Then I feel lazy to write too now...

I was not planning to write anything but cannot help after reading my friend's post. Many people believe in Bad Eye including our respected Pooja. This post is dedicated to all who make a mess of their life by believing such things...

I was sick 4 months back and my doc said I need to take medicines for lifelong. I was even thinking of quitting my business since I could not do justice to my profession. But then suddenly I felt, I cannot quit living the way I want. So along with medicines I started telling myself that I am perfectly fine...believe or not, my condition improved and I stopped medicines when the test results reached normal after 2 months. 

Though my Doc said that I need to continue medicine in lower dose to retain my normal stage, I stopped taking it. Every month I took a test to make sure that I am okay...now it is nearly 4 1/2 months after all that and by Grace of God I am fine..

I do tests every 6 weeks now and so far no issues. My experience taught me that we can control our health issues and anything else if you have will power and belief on God. Many of my friends and even my partner have weight issues but for me none. The secret... however tasty the food is, I never over eat. Always stops when I feel that I can still have a few more handfuls.

My Mom and my partner too believe in all these superstitions. I tell them that if a person can make bad things happen to you by just wishing, what is God doing that time? God is here to protect us. When our belief in God is not strong we believe in such stuff. Good or bad ( ;) yeah...I am not so good sometimes... I always feel that God understands my action and will forgive and protect me...


My Fav Quote

I am the captain of my ship
God is the master of my soul...

mood swings...

December 8 2011

. . . Prabhupepsi experiences mood swings, which includes periods of extreme low mood and elation or "high energy". Prabhupepsi has also experienced psychotic symptoms and dissociative episodes. Currently Prabhupepsi is reasonably well at the moment but does require ongoing support to motivate and encourage him to maintain and develop his recovery and prevent relapse . . . his sleep pattern is erratic . . . Prabhupepsi has become socially isolated . . . Prabhupepsi has little experience of positive relationships outside of contact . . . Prabhupepsi finds it difficult to organise daily household tasks and at times he struggles to carry out basic tasks . . . Prabhupepsi's support needs are around encouragement and support to complete household tasks and to get out and about in the community, also encouragement to work, eat and attend to his personal hygiene needs when he feels unwell.

Thalaivaa!

December 7 2011


வெள்ளை தாடி

வரண்ட கேசம்

உலர்ந்த சிரிப்பு

பற்றற்ற மனோநிலை

ஒரு சூப்பர் ஸ்டார் என்றால்

2200ல் கூட எவரும் நம்ப மாட்டார்கள்! 

இனிய பிறந்தநாள் வாழ்த்துக்கள் தலைவா - பிரபு

Childhood Simplicity

December 6 2011

Little Pranav, my friend's son, all of 4 years, attended his first sports day at school, where all the kids participated in various sports activities and regardless of their victory or loss, every child was awarded a medal as an appreciation of their participation. I was amused to know that Pranav refused to take off his medal, proud that he was of his achievement. He wore the medal the entire day and even went to sleep wearing it.

This took me back by about 24-25 years when I, a little boy at that time, had had a similar experience. 

As kids, we valued such simple joys and were proud of our little achievements. Today, we are more materialistic and fail to find happiness in the simple joys of life. I miss those days!!

WOMEN - the sex that leaves me baffled !

December 5 2011

Note: This is a sexist post and my heartiest apologies to those who do not see eye-to-eye on the subject. Well blogging is freedom of speech, no? Hence I shall use that freedom to the fullest ! 

I wish I could get to know women better. Understand their point of view, rip them down to plain flesh and see through them, to find out how they can make statements of undying love to one and then utter the very same, with the same conviction and the
same gazing intent to another?
How can they keep their hearts rekindled with the same passion and desire-like fire as though he's the only they intend to love, touch and hold for the rest of their lives - being fully aware of the fact that it is only a matter of time before the testosterone rush guides them to another who befits the mould of what they believe to be just perfect ! And then forget him too, for another who pleases the eye, tempts the heart, embarks upon and glorifies the horizons of their fantasy...

What I want Rite Now

December 4 2011

1. More Money
2. To fit UK Jeans
3. To be able to actually talk to someone who actually cares about me and whom I actually care about
4. To be brave enough to face my fears
5. To pay this month car loan 
6. To feel good about myself again
But see, I don’t deserve to get what I want. It’s easy to whine about what’s lacking in my life, but if I’m not going to do anything to change that, then it sure as hell ain't gonna happen.

What’s the point of this post? I’m not sure.

You’re free to lecture me, but don’t expect a response. because if scolding myself doesn't work, 

What makes you think your words will have any impact?

Self Pride

December 3 2011

I’m feeling quite chuffed at the moment.

I just found out that I won an award that’s given out yearly at work. It’s a real boost to my confidence and I’m really pleased to have this piece of good luck. (I say luck because there are better CCTV camera centers which were unrecognized in the past sadly because they were not nominated. silly, right?)
The real icing on the cake has to be the news that some of  the camera prices will be getting low only for dealers, and I happen to be part of the lucky people. yes, how awesome is that?

I’m planning to pay off my car loan with this little bonus. if it’s not enough, I will wait for the year-end bonus then. I can’t wait to put up a status on facebook and twitter saying something like, "I’VE PAID MY LOAN DEBTS! ONE BURDEN LIFTED OFF MY SHOULDERS!" yes, I really don’t like the idea of being in debt. So much so that I’m hoping that the day I should finish my car loan I bought. but that dream remains very far away.

Rite now, I just want to bask in a little self pride, happiness and that feeling you get when you feel you’re getting too much money and you’re not really sure why.
 :)

I am back to being my chirpy self!:)

December 2 2011

Finally, I got the time and energy. 
Life in Tirupur is a roller coaster. I have literally been 'on-my-toes' since the day I landed here. But, it is not what I had imagined it to be. Sometimes, I feel it is much much better and sometimes I feel I shouldn't have taken the decision to relocate. I still am not at peace with myself, as there are n number of things disturbing my equilibrium.

There are moments when I am really really happy and moments when I am really really sad. Somehow, I have not been able to attain a balance between the extremes yet. Life is changing every single day. Maybe it is the 'Tirupur' factor or maybe, personally, I am at such a point in life. Or is it the quarter-life-crisis? I don't know, I really don't.

Happiness comes in splashes. I am happy when I see an invitation to marriage and the fact that I can plan to go (Every day, I received the invitation and got sad about not being able to attend), I am happy when I feel the cold winds, the temperature dripping. I am happy when I eat(anything and everything), I am so happy when I shop, I am happy for friends who have found love and for those too, who'll soon be entangled in wedlock. I am happy with the fact that I can catch a train, anytime I want and still it would not cost me 10K bucks. I am happy when I have mutton instead of chicken which sucked big time. I am happy that the weather keeps changing. I am happy that I am within easily approachable distance from near and dear ones. I am happy that Tirupur still rocks! I am happy that I took the decision to come back. I am happy that Tirupur is a second hometown for me. I am just plain happy.

But, letting go, has never been my cup of coffee and I always cling to people and things I love. This was supposed to be my world,and now that finally I have made it my own, I sometimes really miss the one which I have left behind. And then, I again need one of those splashes of happiness to bring me to the real life. Thankfully, someone or the other sprinkles those on me and I am back to being my chirpy self!:)

I do not make a good friend at all

December 1 2011 

I’m slowly losing the friends I took time to grow close to. some by my doing and some not. Some are leaving the country for good. Some are still around but I don’t feel the closeness to them anymore. Some I’ve totally cut off all ties with.
I have this awful way of cutting loose when I think I’m about to lose someone because I think it would hurt me less. I know in past experiences that this theory doesn't always hold true, but I still do it. Maybe because I also learnt in the past that trying to hold one to someone who’s already ‘gone’ in that sense hurts a lot. Maybe because of pride (there’s no maybe about this one, actually). Maybe because I don’t know how to appreciate friendship. Maybe because I hold my standards way too high.

I like the casual friendships I have at my office. when I'm working at my clients place fixing camera's, I made some good friends there but there was always a gap, be it age or academic/cultural background. At my office, I have friends my age, friends who love to read, friends who love to eat, and friends who are just plain friendly. I feel like I belong here and I couldn't be happier about the relationships I have at work. But of course I do want to feel close to someone, in both the romantic and platonic sense. I find myself gravitating to books, TV's, Movies and Dvd's because I lack these relationships that I crave. And I live my fantasy through my favorite stories via these mediums.

I suppose I could do less of that and go out more, meet new people, form new friendships, lower my standards, swallow my pride. But knowing me, I’ll find a way to screw up anything that shows a tiniest potential to be a beautiful friendship or a long-lasting romance.

I guess what I’m trying to tell myself is that I do not make a good friend at all.

A lesson tough enough

November 30 2011
  1. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  2. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  3. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  4. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  5. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  6. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  7. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  8. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  9. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  10. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  11. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  12. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  13. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  14. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  15. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  16. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  17. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  18. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  19. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  20. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  21. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  22. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  23. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  24. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  25. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  26. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  27. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  28. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  29. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  30. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  31. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  32. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
  33. Prabhu, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
I thought it would be the best way to learn this lesson.

Someone accompanying me!

November 28 2011

Straying once again
In the fields,all alone.
Suddenly I saw
Someone accompanying me.
A distinct individual
With a soul as pure
As the morning breeze .
Following me
Through the passage
And through the rivers
Through the ups and the downs
Through the lows and the highs
Still unshakable by the tides of time.
Escorting me,
Pampering me,
Advicing me,
Yelling at me,
Loving me,
Caring for me,
Hurting me, 
Consoling me.
Sometimes I wonder
If I am really alone
Or being followed
Everytime,everywhere
By the someone called 'Thoughts'.
To give me company
Quietly but evidently.
Today, tomorrow and maybe forever
Like an old friend
Like a mentor
Like a wellwisher.
Like a lonely island
In the Sea of Life.

Oh Its Sunday!

November 27 2011

12:00 - It is too early to get up...Today's a Sunday!

13:00 - Oh, I just realised I am not on a hunger strike, I should get up to EAT!

13:15 - Poori comes to rescue!

13:30 - Oh, I should sleep again. Sunday comes only once in a week :(

13:30 - This kind of a phone call

13:45 - Oh its a wrong no

14:00 - Oh damn...why can't I sleep now?

14:30 - Lost in dreams again.

14:45 - Solving the mystery 'why the hell milk rate is increased'

15:00 - You're still sleeping, Get up and get ready fast.

15:01 - Ummmmm, Let me sleep

16:00 - Everyone asleep.

17:05 - Pushed out of bed, Sheets thrown aside.

17:15 - Rushed to take a quick bath.

17:30 - There is nothing better than a shower on a hot, lazy, Sunday afternoon.

17:40 - Its a myth that boys take hours to get up and bath, it took me just a few minutes, And I am ready for the show!

17:45 - Off we go for the most exciting sport of all times - Shoping! :D

18:00 - Reached.

18:02 - Do I really need this coolers, Oh yes I do...Oh no, I don't. It is
such a tough decision...God, help me.

18:05 - It is not too expensive, so I definitely need it. End of Discussion.

18:30 - Shirt Blue, Black,Green.Thats all.

18:50 - Oh Still there are a lot of shops left that I have to check out, and I am hungry already. Lets just have some Chat first and then continue with our mission.

19:00 - Make it spicy...We like it that way!

19:15 - Lets check out the place across the street...I just realised I need a glass of vodka.

20:00 - Tasmac! Oh this place is great! I'll take two. Afterall, we don't know when would we come here again.

20:15 - I guess we're done for today. Lets just go home now.

20:20 - Hey did you see that shoe on the store...Lets go in and have a quick look.

20:30 - I never thought I would end up buying 2 shoes in just 10 minutes. We're coming back next weekend for sure!

20:35 - Lets search for a decent place to have some food.

20:38 - Oh I know a place that serves amazing karaikudi dishes nearby...We're going there.

20:45 - Hmmm...the service is fast...And the food is yummmm.

21:00 - Here comes the bill.

21:01 - Anyone for dessert? There is a famous ice-cream parlour that is 5 mins walk from here.

21:10 - I've been here..this place is just too good for words...Try for yourself and for once, forget about the calories;)

21:30 - Lets go home...Tommorow is Monday.Sob Sob :'(

Its is going to hurt little bit :-(

November 26 2011

Null.
Non existant.
Nothing at all.
Unknown,Indefinite.

Who could better understand the meaning of those words than him? 'No' one actually. Even then he tried explaining it to someone he considered really close. Anxiety overtook him. Every other emotion inside him was on the verge of end. He knew it and really hated to accept it. But that was what the truth was.

To him, Null seemed like his mirror image. He thought it was the only perfect word which could describe him in every way. In real sense...he was Null and Null was him.

Every day, he thought the next time would hurt less. He would then be 'used to' the wounds and hence the effect and pain they cause would eventually diminish. Slowly, the agony would vanish and the ache would disappear from his wounds, he believed.

But that never happened. The abrasions never halted. And each new injury added to his soreness. The wounds were of a similar kind, and the notion that he had failed to understand how to deal with them left  broken from inside. Failure after failure, and he could do nothing but to learn to accept them. By now, people thought(and he thought) that he should have learnt to accept them wholeheartedly and maybe with a smile.

Day after day, he used to gather hid busted pieces and put them together, to prepare himself for the next injury. Her healing touch made him feel better every time and gave him hope and the will to live. But now, he felt the hope was fading away fast.

Bitter thoughts accompanied him the whole day. Now he thought he was the source of all the turmoil in lives of people close to him. They were sad because he was sad. Yet he couldn't help.

There was no happy ending...still he is suffering and I cant think of any conclusion to his agonies.

Don't shed tears!

November 25 2011

Circumstances change, people change and you change.But ,what if you start missing terribly,the 'old' you and the set of people that made you what you were, sometime back?
Someday,you get up and realise that those people who constructed your past, are now, just a small part of your present. Suddenly, you realise that everyone around you right now, are the people who are constructing your present. And you hate them all? They don't value you and maybe that's why even you don't value them.

Another set of people,are those who were a part of your past, and are much more a part of your present. But, they have changed more than you could ever imagine. They are the same people and you love them like earlier, but there is something different now. And that something,you are unable to understand. You are unable to figure it out after days of brainstorming. At the end, you are helpless and accept them the way they are now, for the fear of letting them go takes over. You are helpless and hurt, and more than confused, You can't figure out what went wrong... And the confusion continues till you move ahead in life, leaving such people behind. For now,you seem to be alone. Life is not exactly what you had imagined it to be. People change faster than climate changes now a days.

Prabhu, stop expecting from people around you. And face the reality they are showing you every now and then, You don't matter to them. For God's sake, stop believing that you do. It is not the way it used to be, no one is there to listen. Don't shed tears, they are hardly noticed.

My so called Life!

 November 24 2011

My life officially sucks, at the moment. I am sad. A bit too sad. I was let down by someone very close to me. Things are not fine,even at the work front. And, I realized that someone was lying to me big time. Nothing cheers me up. It is just one gloomy day after another.I live alone.
Suddenly, all the friends seem to have vanished. Everyone is busy getting married or having kids or relocating down south. There were times when I used to think that coming back to Tirupur would be the best thing that could ever happen to me. But, sad to say, that I was wrong. Really wrong. I 've a big problem, with everything and everyone around me. I don't usually talk nicely to people now a days. I am cranky all the time. Just like a volcano waiting to erupt. Filled up to the brim and waiting to let lose.

I am paying a huge rent, for this just okay,kind of apartment. The neighbors are a pain in the ass. I want to hunt another apartment, but have no time for that.

Forget about the nights, my days are turning dark. Shopping provides no solace. It is just the visa bills that are getting bigger. Bigger, is not better. Vodka's are a temporary remedy. Friends - they come and go.There is just one thing that still makes me feel better - Sleep. The only remedy. But as soon as I wake up from one of the dreams, reality bites me hard in the face. As everyone says, Reality continues to ruin my life.

With all that, and much more pain inside me, I have to attend two weddings, of people closest to me, and put a brave front by smiling all through. Sometimes, my own sadness overshadows the fact that I am really happy for other people. And then guilt takes over. I haven't even started shopping for the weddings, like my old self. I just don't feel like it.

I am still trying to adjust in a (relatively) small company environment although it has been half a month I since I joined. Everyday, the itch to switch, is getting worse. But again, I just don't have enough time or energy to do something about it. In a place as unsafe as Pollachi, I return home after 9 p.m., every single day and that too,to an empty apartment which haunts me like anything. I am working 12 hours a day,with my assistants and demanding clients, in a crappy project that wouldn't end for another 2 months.

P.S: In case you are thinking of calling me after reading this, DON'T MAKE THAT CALL. JUST DON'T. Sympathies or Pravachans are not welcome anymore. Comments are okay, as they might make me feel better.

Heart paths

November 23 2011

I want to write about mysteries.

I want to write about the forces I perceive in the universe.

I have always felt I had a destiny.

Now I wonder if I am to be a prophet.

I have only loved and it's not a sin!

November 22 2011

Lost and broken, I was.
On that horrible and suffocating night,
I had decided to end up all my aches and worthless fight.
Sinking in tears, wishing to die.
Craving for a shoulder and a hug to feel home and cry. 
 I had met her before but I didn't know,
I had already sown seeds of love in her heart to grow.
She did care but I didn't notice.
While talking to her, I actually found peace.
Tears stopped and slowly the pain was going.
I fell asleep with neither bitterness nor cursing.
Next morning, I was in solace.
No more tears, no more aches.
We both were giggling and smiling like two little kids.
No one was being fake or hypocrite.
Innocence and love started growing more,
Neither of our hearts were sore.
she was knowing that I was falling for her.
I wasn't scared anymore to say, "I love you Reks"
Keeping my feelings only to me.
Denied everything that she wanted me to see.
At the end, I lost and love won.
Despite the distance, she feels that I am the only one.
she is a princess and I am one among st the ordinary guys,
she is so perfect that every pretty face twirls.
I have only loved and it's not a sin.

Give me all your sufferings

November 21 2011
Money 
It can buy a house But not a home 
It can buy a clock But not time 
It can buy you a position But not respect 
It can buy you a bed But not sleep 
It can buy you a book But not knowledge 
It can buy you medicine But not health 
It can buy you blood But not life
So you see money isn't everything And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you this because I am your friend And as your friend I want to Take away your pain and suffering!! 

So Send me all your money 
And I will suffer for you!
Credit Cards and Debit Cards will not be Accepted!! 
only CASH please.

WHY A STUDENT FAILS ?

November 20 2011

It's not the fault of the student if he/she fails, because the year has ONLY 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student.

Sundays-52,Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.

Days left 313.

Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.

Days left 263.

8 hours daily sleep-means 130 days.

Days left 141.

1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days.

Days left 126.

2 hours daily for food & other delicacies(chew properly & eat)-means 30days.

Days left 96.

1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days !

Days left 81.

Exam days per year atleast 35 days.

Days left 46.

Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.

Balance 6 days.

For sickness atleast 3 days.

Remaining days 3.

Movies and functions atleast 2 days.

1 day left.

That 1 day is your birthday. "How can you study at that day?"

Balance days 0

"How can a student PASS???

Me, My Team & My Clients

November 19 2011

1) My Clients are a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

2)  I am a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

3) My Distributor is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) My Assistance  are the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

5) My Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver  a baby even if no man and woman are available.


And lastly……………..


6) My Auditor is the person who is never happy with the  PROCESS to produce a baby.

33 Ways To Prove You Are INDIAN

November 17 2011

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminium foil.

3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

7. You name your children! in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.)

8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says 'No Food Allowed' ..

10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other 'Uncles and Aunties' will think..

14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions,which never happen.

15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff )

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).

23. You never learn how to stand in a queue.

24. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

25. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

26. Your wedding gifts are mostly in cash with a one rupee coin added to the note in a cover.

27. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

28. You call an older person you never met before Uncle orAunty.

29. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes,you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

30. Your parents don't realize phone connections ! to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

31. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

32. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

33.. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

Lost like...

November 16 2011

I just lost all the photographs that I had captured on my Blackberry till date photographs. All of them Lost People, Places, Occasions, Scenes, Memories, Moments, All lost.

I just had one back-up, in my head. I should have kept another physical back-up?! Should have! Could have! Would have! Bah haaa.

This post is in honor of all those lost photographs that will never be seen again. Hence, the no photo blog post. For the very first f***ing time - no photos on my blog post. Sadness!. There were so many of them that I wanted to put up over here. I was even thinking of making a Facebook album. What do I make an album with now.

I recently discovered that I have a flair with capturing meaningful moments. I loved my photos.

I didn't use to make people pose and do a smile please.
I didn't use to fiddle with the camera settings to get cool effects.
I didn't use to take a photo with the intention of taking it, the moment would just come and I would click the damn photograph. I like taking photos. And I like looking at them.

What do I look at now?.

All those photographs.

I just realized. This very moment.

My photographs are like poetry.

They might mean something to me. On the flip-side, you might perceive them differently.

Each of them Most of them had some deep meaning.

Now all meaning, lost.

Lost like the tears I shed when she was gone
Lost like when I looked at Her, lost his frown.
Lost like the evening Sun loses to the Moon
Lost like I wish I could lose this grief soon.

It's not like I have lost people. Or even physical possessions.

I lost digital photographs.

Still. Loss is loss.

Lesson learnt :

Don't delay things. If you think you should do something then just do it man. Don't wait for next fucking month.

Back-up for f***'s sake.

PS - Pray to your respective Gods that the photographs come back miraculously or the phone guy miraculously returns them somehow. Some-f***ing-how.

PPS - Saw what I did with the title of the post? Huh huh huh?

No Country for Old Men - No Photo for Blog Man, i.e. clever wordplay.

I'm too smart for my own good.

Where I was?

November 15 2011

Buried in clients office which work weighed more than me, not caring about what the hell was happening around in the world,
Not caring if Kanimozhi will get bail, 
Not caring if Poonam Pandey would finally strip on her rumored visit to bigg boss house, 
Not caring if Terror 'aaooo' Romeo still existed, 
Not caring if I was losing followers just because I didn't blog anymore, 
Not caring to the texts that were being forwarded that said I was dead, 
Not caring if Facebook banned me due to no usage.
Oh wait Facebook doesn't do that. It doesn't even delete your account when you ask it to. It always give you an option to reactivate. Hence, sentenced to life. 

Umm where was I ?
So lost in going home, striving to make a future for myself ,I didn't bath for 2 days.
Technically 1day 2 hours 24minutes. 

Happy Children's Day

November 14 2011

Can you see this kid. His name is Rajiv (Name Changed). He is 5 years old. He loves to go to school too. But he has never gone to school in his life. Reason~ Poverty. His parents find it difficult to meet both ends meet and many a days, he does not even have one meal per day, the whole family has been content by drinking just water on many occasions. He says that he wants to become a Pilot and fly air-planes. One might laugh at him when he says those words. But he says those words with such confidence. There are thousands of Rajiv's in the country and all of them have dreams. As of now, their dreams appear to be unrealistic. But you and I can make their dreams come true.

Help A Child of India is an NGO that caters to the needs of Children living in poverty. It just takes Rs500/- per month to sponsor one child's education. You and I who have got all the privileges, can extend our helping hands to the under-privileged. If you think, that you can make a difference in the lives of Children like Rajiv, just click the above picture and start sponsoring.

Let us put a smile on the faces of those in need.

I would suggest you not to read this if you expect something meaningful.

November 13 2011

Just like the title this post makes no sense. 

No even to me. Just like my brain, it is a cluster fuck of all the thoughts that are spiraling my brain right now. 
And though it surprises me every time, I yet again write just to clear off my mind, because somehow magically whatever once written by me gets automatically deleted almost permanently from my brain. So end line : Reading/commenting is upon personal discretion. 
  
Things in my head dont make sense. Its like all train of thoughts clashing at the same intersection with me standing in the exact center. 

Procrastination at its peak. I usually ponder over the fact how I have been an idol ‘Procrastinator’ all my life but never knowing until recently what it was called. I usually heard people say this word, and all I could think of was ‘Show off people’ and nod like I very well knew what the whole discussion was about. 

Have you ever felt really stupid about your self, only stupid being an absolute understatement? Like every important decision, decisions that could change your life are wrong. Like a sudden psychic feeling that everything you opted for is going to end up as a regret. I have Or better, the phase is still on.

You speak cool, you write, people talk to you and you feel at the top of the world. You suddenly regret not being here sooner. You think you belong here. But this is just an illusion. Your virtual self may be the coolest thing around. People might actually look forward to everything you write, but deep inside you know you don't have a life. If you go out in the real world, there is nowhere that you stand. Because the real life decisions that you take are far off being right, let alone being perfect. 

Caring for your family or having an enviable career? 
Earning respect in society or following your interest? 
What should would you choose? 

In the first place should these over-extensive-thought-needed issues cross your mind when you are at 31? 

You tell yourself this isn't the end of the world. It wont be, even if you fail. Though it would be if you never try. Do you want to be a coward? The one who never tried? Which regret would be better? The regret of Making the wrong choice? or the regret of never knowing since you never tried?  

P.S: Donot tell me that the spelling of pyscic is wrong. I know I wrote it wrong again. My spell check tells me that too. I didn't listen to her, what makes you think I would to you? I wont backspace and correct. Life isn't about backspaces and erasers it is all about writing with a pen. (And yes I know that the spellchecker is a female. Because they just cant mind their own fucking business.) 

P.P.S: If you manged to make any sense out of it : GOOD. If not : Care not to comment. 

Three thirty in the morning with hair that looks messy, Eyes that look like somebody just boiled them and mouth that stinks more than a buffalo's sty would, I didn't write this to hear someone saying I shouldn't. This was much needed.

I speak bullshito @ Nighto's .

November 12 2011

Life's complicated.

Well not life I d rather say circumstances. Oh wait news update from the brain its not circumstances either. Its people. I cannot understand people. I just cannot understand people. Period. Well its so difficult to understand your own self let alone another human being. At one moment I want this, on another I want that . When asked I ll opt for this only regretting it seconds later and being too egoistic to accept.

Girls please don't throw stones at me but let's just accept 50% of the guys are plain stupid, even 90% of the girls too but right now let's just not deviate !

Yes girls can't drive, they can't take a joke, they can't clearly say what they want, they always want to be a princess expect over-politeness from everybody and then fighting against not being treated equally as a guy. If you want to be treated equal, first consider yourself equal. Don't be like 'don't you know how to behave with a girl?' And then I am equal . If you are equal why the hell do one has to behave specially with you?
I may be completely wrong making an ass of myself, but its 2a.m, I am on a fighting spree, my brain is burnt, I am high on caffeine and I DON'T CARE A DAMN.

"Life has changed a lot"......... isn't it.....???

November 11 2011

I want to go back to the time........
when "innocence" was "Natural"....
when "getting high" meant "one swing"....
when "drinking" meant  "Rasna"....
when "dad" was the only "hero"....
when "love" was "Mom's hug"....
when "Dad's shoulder" was "the highest place on earth"....
when my  "worst enemy" were "cousin saravnan"....
when the only thing that could "Hurt" were "bleeding knees"...
when the only thing "broken" were "toys"....
and....
when "good bye" only meant "till tomorrow"....

"Life has changed a lot"......... isn't it.....???