Breathing slowly & deeply

July 17th, 2009
I’m both excited and very nervous.I know that the stress
Is getting to me. My sleep has been all over the place - I
Wake up every night between 2am and 3am, and am awake
For up to three hours. Also, I’m clenching my teeth in my
Sleep. I’m also getting the sickish feeling in my stomach.
At this point, I’m just trying to remember to breathe deeply
And think positively. I was repeating to myself, ‘I am strong
And able to handle this….. I am strong and able to handle this…'.
I just hope it’s true.

I’m also trying to keep a watchful eye on my mental health at
The moment. I don’t want to fall off the deep end, with
Everything that’s happening. My psychiatrist has also said that
Some people reach a good level of drug dosage on OLEANZ, then
After being on it for a while, it seems to just lose a bit of
Effectiveness. He said an increase of even 5mg can right things,
And has given me the go-ahead to increase my dose if I notice
This happening. I just want to be sure that if I do increase my
Dose, it’s for the right reasons, not because of temporary stress
Which will pass. The difficulty is knowing the difference.On the
Topic of depression, earlier this week a friend of me sent aCouple
Of books by Matthew Johnstone. His book,I Had a Black Dog,
Is a pictorial depiction of what it’s like to live with depression.
It describes exactly what it’s like. I’ve not comeAcross anything
Before which outlines the effect depression has on your life - on
Relationships, your view of the world, and the numbness you feel.
This book captures it perfectly. I strongly recommend it for
People who suffer from depression. He and his wife have also
Written a companion book which is specifically aimed at anyone
Who’s in a relationship with someone who is depressed.
Both books are well worth reading.
(And no, I’m not getting paid to write this!!)

I do have more to say, but it’s getting late and,
Well, I need my sleep. Night!