Emotional Development

July 30th, 2009

I need space, privacy, quiet. No-one to tell me what to do, or how to do it. Or no structure, no places to be or faces to put on. Just to hide, sleep, relax, do whatever, which is what holidays are really supposed to be about. The first 2 days were great, then I got worn out. Pretending so much is hard and I’m not used to being around people 24/7 or making decisions that aren’t spontaneous. I keep being asked things and I can’t plan that far ahead; neither can I decide about this new phone business- a 12/18 month contract is a long time to commit myself to being around for. It just seems so long, so far away, yet months still keep floating by. In 18 months I’ll be living in Chennai or somewhere and working. I need to decide as soon as possible about what to do, so I can get the benefit of it so I’m not paying for too many months. What will I do? I don’t know. It’s not just my nose that’s blocked, but my head too.

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