I AM THE IMBALANCE OF NEGLECT
April 27 2010
What if no one cares? WHAT THE F*** WILL THAT MEAN? What have I been living for? What is really keeping me alive? Is there someone in this world that I am living for? Must I always find out the hard way and suffer other people’s consequences? There is no relief. This world offers none. There is no meaning to the actions I do. My intent is unknown to myself. Everyone matters. I am not everyone. I am the imbalance of neglect. I am the F***ING IMBALANCE OF NEGLECT.
Why is it that when I am alone, I feel too lonely, and when I am with other people, I want to be alone? Why is there such an imbalance? Is it me? I bet it is. I am neglected, and I am the reason for it. I am the source of the lies that I live and that others believe. I am the imbalance of neglect.
Why am I alive?
When will it end? My heart hurts. My eyes thirst. My mind has lost motivation. When will it end? When can I finally just die?
Is my desire for death genuine? Can anyone give me an answer to that? I cannot imagine myself in the future anymore. I have stopped dreaming completely for what my future might hold. There is nothing to dream for, and there is nothing to live for. Why is everything so artificial?
Posted by PRABHU N