May 03 2011

I stopped talking with Reks. I know, I know, - it's the daftest thing, when I'm so scared of becoming alone again, to do something that actually invites it. And I don't even really know why. There seemed to be a force-field round only Reks in my mind, preventing me. Oh I could talk about adverse love effects and raised the thought levels but really I think it's a compulsion to make her to talk whether I'm still crazy about her, like picking at a cherry tree, like dancing with the angel. Or maybe I'm like an alcoholic, convinced that this time I'll be able to have just the one drink, I'll stay in control Reks.

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