March 7th, 2009
I'm ... really not feeling very good today. I really want to crawl under the covers and bawl my eyes out, but I've got things I need to do. Let it just be said for now that I am:
tired of snow
tired of work
tired of wearing shoes
tired of wearing any clothes that aren't pyjamas
tired of my face
tired of my scabby head
tired of talking to people
tired of acting like I care
tired of getting on the bus
tired of getting off the bus
tired of not having anyone I feel I can by wholly honest with
tired of guilt
tired of not feeling good enough
tired of the big anxiety headache that's resurfaced
tired of trying not to self harm
tired of boxes
tired of eating crap
tired of not being able to drink several glasses of wine and still be functional in the morning
tired of having to take my makeup off
tired of obligations
tired of not feeling anything good
tired of being frightened that I'm a good person
tired of being frightened that I'm a bad person
tired of the sound of my alarm clock
tired of the queues for sandwiches
tired of medication
tired of hearing music
tired of trying
tired of 'recovering'
and very very overwhelmed.
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