I've lived my life incorrectly

June 28 2010

After Anipra gone from my life addiction kicked in soon after. I was laid up at home by myself and I didn’t know what to do. I was so lost.. and I just wanted to visit her and I asked for an appointment. she refused me. I tried to tell her everything, but once I told her about my problems she told me to ask her father. Then I told her "I am dead and I'm no more in your life".  Till now I never met her.

“I don’t help criminals.”
"I didn't kill anyone."
"I didn't rob anyone."
"I didn't steal.."

It’s been five days. everyone I've asked for help has turned their backs on me. Humans are so selfish. Everything they do is for self-gain. They don’t help others because they just want to save time. Or they want to help others just because it makes them feel good about themselves.

That night, I finally realized what it was like to be pushed beyond the edge. the hopelessness, the loneliness, the disregard for health and life itself, the apathy for anything and everything.

I realized that I don’t need to cry for help anymore since no one is going to come. I've lived my life incorrectly, but I'm no longer going to sit around and cry about it. This life will not have been for naught.

Instead, I ll never be selfish, untrustworthy, and evil. I'm going to use what I've learned in my life.

If I am not reborn, it will be even better. I’ll never have to see anyone ever again.



Asuka said...

I get it. Get help, google a place near you.
There ARE compassionate people left. I promise

Arthi said...

This might seem extremely out of place but… That was some intense writing there. You should be an author. I was sucked in the second I read the first sentence. Damn.