November 26 2011
Null.
Non existant.
Nothing at all.
Unknown,Indefinite.
Who could better understand the meaning of those words than him? 'No' one actually. Even then he tried explaining it to someone he considered really close. Anxiety overtook him. Every other emotion inside him was on the verge of end. He knew it and really hated to accept it. But that was what the truth was.
To him, Null seemed like his mirror image. He thought it was the only perfect word which could describe him in every way. In real sense...he was Null and Null was him.
Every day, he thought the next time would hurt less. He would then be 'used to' the wounds and hence the effect and pain they cause would eventually diminish. Slowly, the agony would vanish and the ache would disappear from his wounds, he believed.
But that never happened. The abrasions never halted. And each new injury added to his soreness. The wounds were of a similar kind, and the notion that he had failed to understand how to deal with them left broken from inside. Failure after failure, and he could do nothing but to learn to accept them. By now, people thought(and he thought) that he should have learnt to accept them wholeheartedly and maybe with a smile.
Day after day, he used to gather hid busted pieces and put them together, to prepare himself for the next injury. Her healing touch made him feel better every time and gave him hope and the will to live. But now, he felt the hope was fading away fast.
Bitter thoughts accompanied him the whole day. Now he thought he was the source of all the turmoil in lives of people close to him. They were sad because he was sad. Yet he couldn't help.
There was no happy ending...still he is suffering and I cant think of any conclusion to his agonies.
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