Us with mental health issues find life gets even more difficult.
Yes, it’s sad but true: it’s a time when many people feel alone
And lonely. It’s even worse for those people who have family.
These people feel alone, too, while surrounded by their nearest
And dearest/drunken/abusive/stoner family members. Which
Leads me to my first tip:
1. If you can’t beat ‘em, try joining them (just not if they’re
Abusive - leave that shit to the lowlifes).
2. Try travelling away from, rather than closer to, your relatives.
As George Burns once said, ‘Happiness is having a large, loving,
Caring, close-knit family in another city’. I can recommend
Overseas, or if you’re particularly brave, just buy in a lot of
Food and don’t leave your house. Hey, a break from family is
A break from family.
3. Don’t bother trying to buy the right gift for each person.
You won’t get it right. However, you can always buy them
A goat. You do good, you don’t add to useless landfill waste,
And you get to have a little in-joke with yourself about buying
A goat for a goat. You can also buy piglets and chickens.
The potential for amusement is endless.
4. Just say NO. Don’t go to church. It doesn’t matter if your aged
Great-grandmother pleads with you. You really don’t want to
Spend an hour pretending you remember the order of Mass
With all the other once-a-year hypocrites. Remember kiddies,
Jesus hates a hypocrite.
5. Don’t bother with Christmas cards. Again, it contributes to
Landfill. We haven’t sent them in years. By now, the people
Who send them to us do so knowing they’re not going to get
One back. I’d rather call or see people who I care about, than
Send a formulaic card which is going to end up in the bin in
Three weeks’ time.
6. If you want to really annoy conservative family members,
Conspicuously convert to Wicca. Feel free to practice rituals
Around them and refer to the Gods. Just be careful to avoid
Any situations involving a barbeque and a stake.
Happy holidays, and may the Prozac consumption begin!