April 14th, 2009
I’ve made a list of the good and the bad of this month. I think that although there are fewer good’s, they’re better, stronger, faster good’s than the ‘niggling’ bad’s. I think the good’s that have come out of it are:
My mood’s becoming more stable: less low, less high… more nothing
My eating has sorted itself out: not particularly binged, and vaguely resembles normality now
I have some form of routine and comfort in Pollachi
I’ve really cut down my alcohol consumption
Being dead inside, emotionless
Completely lacking enthusiasm and motivation
Regretting things in the past that really can’t be changed/they happened and I can’t blame myself because of the way I was back then
Being really rather agitated. Especially if it involves shopping!
I’m still feeling like people are going to attack me, then experience mild shock when they don’t/
Some craziness about me being a gunman and being on the run from the police. I really wouldn’t ask, since I don’t know much either, although my sent messages do :s
Low level hearing things: people calling my name/hearing phones going off.
But I’m fine, honestly. That’s what I’ll tell you… &
Iniya Tamil Puthandu Nal Vazthukal
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