Rambling Stream Of Consciousness
April 17th, 2009
I feel like absolute death, I want to die now. Or be thin. Or be drunk. Or something. I don’t want to be here, as I am.
I’m heavy, heavier than I’ve been in a long time and that is not a good feeling. I feel like shit, I feel like I’m getting old without having done anything. I feel like my life is trailing behind me in a vapour of undone things.
I wish I were dead, or I wish I were something else.
I’ve just eaten my dinner a time early, my appetite is through the roof. My eyes are tired, my soul is depleted, I miss the people I’ve lost and it’s glaringly obvious who I mean when I say that. I’m so unhappy, so lost, so ready to give up. Or change. Dramatically. One thing or another, it’s either, or.
Posted by PRABHU N