I Blame Myself

July 8 2010

All the terrible feelings are coming back. Unhappiness, not belonging, not feeling at home, no direction, loneliness, all these things.  I want to start over. I can’ t stand anything about myself. I can’t stand anything about anyone else either.  Someone asked me what I thought about Anipra ugh! Every time  I hear her name some of my brain cells die. I began to think how if I were an animal I’d dig a hole and die in it.

Nothing seems to have a point anymore, at least I can’t find any.  People are so fake and make themselves more important than they actually are; embellishment is the status.  I’m nothing and I freely admit it. I am a waste of human flesh and don’t deserve the breath I breathe.  Why am I here? Others deserve my place.

I blame myself.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


your life is in your control.. fill ur mind with positive thoughts and forget about your past.. you cannot go back and make things right in the past, but you can change your future by what you do today.. so be positive, be happy and do something good today..

your life is a gift from God.. and let me tell you, it is a VERY BIG sin to even think about ending ur life.. so, please drop such negative thoughts and never let those thoughts take control of you.. take the past experience as something to cleanse your mind and start fresh with a new life..

keep yourself in the company of positive people, read some good books, do something fun that will cheer up your mind.. try to get some spiritual help if you believe in God..

may God guide you and bless you.. wishing you happiness and peace!