Nothing for me please!

December 17 2010

My friend Guganesh have come down to India from Malaysia.

What Indonesianwalas were in the 70s, the Malaywalas are today. They always come back with goodies for everybody. This being the Christmas season, I wouldn`t be off target if I compared him to Santa Claws. Oops! Santa Clause.

Living up to the expectations – in fact even exceeding him – he bought me an Ipod. He had called me one month earlier to check what I wanted.

“I am coming to India next month. Anything I can bring for you?” It was him on the speaker phone and my parents listening.

My parents have always taught me to refuse at least three times before accepting anything. So, I quickly said: “Nothing for me please. Nothing for me please. Nothing for me please,” and waited for him to respond.

It was him who spoke again: “No da macha, I want to gift you something. Thought I should check with you and buy you something you need.”

I had only three seconds to respond. The character of a man is decided in these three seconds. I had a few options – refusing his gift and telling him that I would be excited if he stayed with me for a few days, was the best option. The worst option was to list out the things I wanted from Malaysia – barring logs of course we have a sawmill.

With the fear that he might give in any moment and say, “OK then, no gift for you this time”, I replied: “I really think you should not take all the trouble.”

“It is no trouble at all. In an hour`s time I am going out for shopping and I could get you whatever you want.” Thats my true friend.

My mind went racing. I had bought gifts for so many people (none exceeding Rs 300/-). Before I walk into a store, I have always asked myself a few questions -

Do I really need to gift this guy – will he be useful to me?

Will this guy ever gift me back?

Will this gift ensure better results when I forward a resume to him?

Is there a possibility that I am overdoing it – will he/she be happy with a Rs 200/- gift?

My mind came back to the present. I had to quickly come up with a gift item…else I might be gifted with a Gillette deo, a Gillette shaving foam and a Gillette shampoo (if at all Gillette makes that). The problem with suggesting a gift was …I didn`t know his budget and I didn`t know what the Malaysia is famous for, besides teak woods and logs of course.

If he were in Iraq…I could have asked for an armored tank.

If he were in Palestine, I could have asked for an AK-47.

If he were in Pakistan, I could have asked for a kilogram of RDX.

If he were in Russia, I could have asked for a pinch of Polonium.

If he were in Netherlands, I could have asked for some cocaine. Apparently, it is legal to buy and sell drugs there.

Since he were sitting in Malaysia, I said: “I am fine with anything as long as it is a Ipod supporting mp4.”

He reached India today and I have my Ipod. The problem is….I should gift him something for his wedding. I tried to argue with myself…but the argument ended with a cost of 5000 bugs, a Titan wedding watch for this monkey & his wife.