May 23rd, 2009

Relaxing outside with a friend recently, I got a word to think on. My friend remarked, “How fortuitous your life events have been.” With extreme puzzlement, I responded, with the predictable “what?”

I don’t consider myself a person who is filled with opportunity. I learned in early adulthood that if I needed something to happen, I was going to have to work hard. Equally, I learned that oftentimes hard work is not enough. My thinking evolved from early experiences. My life has consisted of much loss, trauma, and victimization.

And that is without the diagnosis of bipolar riding along. Fortuity would not be how I would define my life events. I asked my friend to give reason to his offerring. He said, “You don’t get to choose the things that happen to you, they choose you. The past now years ago (and healed through years of therapy) have positioned you to be the person you are. Equally, the current distress you undergo, places you in your path for the future.”

Maybe, my life is becoming more aggreable. Not because one excellent thing after another is happening. I have found peace with the past, acceptance of the now, and hope for my future. The look of all, is a bit shabby. I just work hard at it. As I perfect my abilities, more favor comes.

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