Why Is It So Hard?

May 30th, 2009

Things are really starting to become clear to me, yet recovery still eludes me. Why is it so hard? I know the answer, I don’t think I know, I KNOW the answer on how to recover yet it doesn’t make recovery any easier.

I know that negative thoughts make me feel worse. Make me feel physically ill. Yet I can’t stop. I guess I should start doing my CBT exercises again. I am getting better at it but I tend to look at it in black & white terms. My doctor on the other hand takes a different view of it. He always says things like “well, these bad thoughts used to come every minute and now they come every 5 minutes, thats progress.” Which he is right, it is a progression but to my mind its either there or not, its hard for me to appreciate the progress I’ve made towards recovery.