He Doesn’t Know The Whole Story

June 23rd, 2009

Last night I went to bed thinking about why I avoided speaking to my father for so long. I think another part of the reason that I was hesitant is because he doesn’t know the whole story. He thinks that all of the drama surrounding me is only related to my mental illness. He knows nothing about me. This makes it so much harder to talk to him. I don’t like lying and with out him knowing that I don’t have a choice. My mom told me I should just tell him but I REALLY don’t want to. We’ll see how it plays out.

Before I went to sleep last night I laid on my bed and cried for an hour. I’m not the crying type but lately I can’t help it. I feel like everyday I break in to more and more pieces. I’m falling apart right along side my splintering life. Despite the fact that I have a few amazing people in my life, I feel alone. The most alone I have ever been.

1 comment:

Depressed Indian said...

Hey buddy...I know what silent crying means. See its 4:26 am and i am not able to sleep. How do i get up morning and go to job and face this world where we have to be fit and competitive. You know I want to cry myself but tears dont come out...as if something is holding. All I do is somehow go to work and come and sleep.

I started on new medication called PAXIDEP CR 37.5 MG and my head pressure and vertigo is so impossible to manage.