BreAkiNg NEwS ViRus

October 15 2011
NDTV and Times Now are the two leading OPINION makers in India. They telecast their own opinions which contradict each other. These two channels suffer from a dangerous disease called as Acquired Breaking News Virus.

Little kids usually fight with each other for numero-uno position. I finished eating first. I finished doing the homework first. I finished coloring the book first. I finished my potty time first. The kids fight for everything. Competition is in the blood of every human being. This competitive spirit when it crosses the limit transforms into a disease called ABNV. This disease has hit both these channels. This whole disease was discovered a couple of years ago when Ajmal Kasab and co stormed into Mumbai and warred with India. Both these News Channels were fighting with each other trying to claim that they were the first channel to break the News. After that incident, they are Breaking every day. CNN-IBN and Aaj Tak are also transmitters of the ABNV.

Viewers suffer from Breaking News Syndrome when they watch these channels. Children complain that they are seeing the word BREAKING NEWS on their text books. Corporate employees are also complaining that they are seeing the word BREAKING NEWS on their computer screens.

Viewers also suffer from uneasy sleep and nausea. They get bad dreams of Barkha Dutt, Arnab Gowsami and Karan Thappar Breaking their Sleep with Breaking Dreams. My wife Joan got scared when I woke up in the middle of the night shouting "Breaking News Breaking News".

Some of the Breaking News Caption that comes on TV these days

Karunanidhi started fast starts @ 10am and ends @ 1pm
Police arrest everyone on February 22
Man executed after long speech.
Man accused of killing attorney receives a new attorney.
Bihaar's literacy program shows improvement. ( See how Bihar is spelt)
Commissioner of Delhi Police Has Lost His Dog
Finally Commissioner Dog Came to House
Ruling Congress Top Leader Rahul Gandhi Lunch Menu was also a breaking news.
Big B catches a cold.
If you have come across any funny BREAKING NEWS , please post it in the comments section.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very interesting points. Thanks!

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