Masking the Pain

January 19th, 2009

I had to go to a dinner the other night. I placed the “fake face” on and went. I felt lousy, but I could not bail out of this obligation. I had already excused myself before several times. I knew I was wearing a mask to hide my pain, but I did not feel fake. I think it was because I was choosing to “put on an act” to protect myself. Not every place is the perfect time to indulge that you are having a recurrence of your bipolar episode. In fact, it is the rare moment that one is able to discuss it at all. If I had a headache, arthritis, or a common cold it would be acceptable to talk about how I feel. Emotional illnesses are tricky. The main thing to remember is they ARE illnesses.

So I wear the mask.

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