Wishful Thinking

January 1st, 2009

I want to go to bed without my ritual argument in my head about how
awful I am, I want to walk past a chemist without wanting to go in and
look at the things I shouldn't’t be, I want to drink full fat coke without
tasting suicide, I want to be ignorant about mental illness, I want to
have the concentration to sit and read a a book, I want to find enjoyment
in something I can commit to, I want to not have to worry about where
my mood will take me next, I want to have the confidence to talk to a
room of people, I want to sleep naturally, I want my family not to have to
tiptoe around me, I want all of this to have never happened. I want my
future back.

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