Wishful Thinking

January 1st, 2009

I want to go to bed without my ritual argument in my head about how

awful I am, I want to walk past a chemist without wanting to go in and

look at the things I shouldn't’t be, I want to drink full fat coke without

tasting suicide, I want to be ignorant about mental illness, I want to

have the concentration to sit and read a a book, I want to find enjoyment

in something I can commit to, I want to not have to worry about where

my mood will take me next, I want to have the confidence to talk to a

room of people, I want to sleep naturally, I want my family not to have to

tiptoe around me, I want all of this to have never happened. I want my

future back.