Losing Things

February 25th, 2009

I went through a period where I kept losing things- I lost small things like keys, papers, even credit cards, and money. One day I decided to keep a “running list” of the things I kept losing. As I watched the list grow and shrink depending on my ability to find my lost items, I noticed that things I never found did not mean a whole lot to me anymore. They were only things. My real losses couldn’t be counted. They have grown but never shrunk. As time passed, my “real” losses have brought me unending grief. The thought of making a list of these, weakened my ability to keep trying my best to overcome the sorrow they left.

Sitting around counting losses is unhealthy for me. It takes my focus away from living in wellness to living with regret. In order to maintain focus in the journey I must keep going, while grieving what is gone. I can’t discount my losses by leaving them unclosed without proper attention. Equally, I cannot tangle myself in their despair.

Grief is good if it leads me to wellness.