February 17th, 2009

Suicide, ick-don’t like to talk about it. But, something got me thinking about it today. I would love to research it, but I guess the thought gives me a fright. I have had bouts with suicidal thoughts. Sometimes it has stalked me piercing at my mind like an awful headache. Even with it’s temptation, thankfully I have somehow escaped. Several months ago, someone who had done some work for me died as a result of suicide and another aquantence attempted it. Both events happened around the same time. When I heard, I had chills all the way to my face. When someone is suicidal, they are very ill and getting them the help they need immediately is important.

In the journey with mental illness there are destinations along the way which cause one to stop and listen. I try to stop and listen to myself. Pausing momentarily and thinking about this, enabled me to realize I really don’t want to die. Right now in this moment, suicide is an illogical choice for my oftentimes depressed soul. While acknowledging my desrie to live and the rejection of suicide, it is with humbleness I admit it’s power.

No comments: