Stop, breathe and start over.

December 22nd, 2009

I woke up today a bit disturbed after remembering the way things turned out. But things are alright. I fixed things. People helped me fix things so my insane anxious depressive episodes wouldn’t ruin my life for no real reason. I can’t say I’ll never be messy again because I probably will, but the storm has calmed for now. I have a lot of things to think about, but I just will not make any big decision based on the withdrawal of whatever makes my brain sane. Not while I’m sane at least… um…

Mood Curve

I know the big messy thing that happened to the curve below the critical point is bad, but I’m more concerned about the “normal life” tendency. I need to change that somehow. Right now I’m like a cold blooded animal. If I want to be warm, I need to be exposed to something warm, the moment warm goes away I get cold immediately. I want to be a warm blooded animal. I want stability. I want to remain warm even when things go cold.